Holding on to this...

"And obey Allah and His Messenger, and do not dispute (with one another) lest you lose courage and your strength departs, and be patient. Surely, Allah is with those who are As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.)"
(8:46)

I'm not sure how relevant this ayat is to you, but it may be one day...hopefully you will remember it then...For right now, it's what i'm holding on to for my inner strength. You don't need to understand why,,,sometimes, some things are better left unsaid.
Wallahu'alam.