Life full of tests...

Just when i thought i've had enough to test my patience and strength for the day, i was further tested with an unexpected scenario today....
The setting of the whole situation never really occurred in my mind before, it's only when it happened that i realized how difficult it is to be stuck..and not being able to get out of it..
Aaargghhh...frustration..!! yes i was actually frustrated (which i rarely feel) that the situation was out of my control..and things just got out of hand unexpectedly..
i just wanted to Cry...outside i appeared okay but inside i was screaming..! I knew i was at a dead end..all there was, was myself..and my self-control..and Allah swt..oh Allah i fear you so but i was weak..I was terribly weak..
I did things i never wanted to do..when i look back i wonder why i acted so and so..I've tried so hard all this while but my defenses fell for the first time in ages...all bcos i was stuck..i couldn't run away..it's true that you never really know how far you can go until you're tested...
...and today i was.

"And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.)" (2:155)

"Do you think that you will enter Paradise before Allah tests those of you who fought (in His Cause) and (also) tests those who are As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.)?" (3:142)

~Tidak ada sesuatu yg mungkin yg lebih baik dpd apa yg telah berlaku (Imam Al-Ghazali)~
~Dear Allah, i seek forgiveness from You~